There’s a few things I wanted to share with you today that have been on my mind and mainly that I’ve embodied over the last several months since I’ve gone on a journey to rebranding my business, but what I found was I’ve mainly gone on a journey with self. What I’ve found was what I least expected, going on a journey with yourself will always upend things you least expected, it’s beautiful and exhausting. Turns out showing up for yourself is more powerful than I could have ever imagined, so I want to give you a few of my thoughts.
I’ve been cornered into the undoing of many of my shortcomings, I’ve seen firsthand just how capable I am and that showing up for yourself in small and big things takes discipline over inspiration. Which has proven to me time and again that discipline in the creative person is what we most resist, but the very thing we need to thrive. As an enneagram 7, I struggle with structure, but in my 8 wing, I thrive in getting to call the shots. When I can find an ideal balance between these two dynamics, I flourish.
In hiring help with my business, this has freed me from the tasks that weigh me down, in turn, this allows my (little) energy most days, to be directed toward the elements that truly help me thrive and think.
Another poignant reason I wanted to write my thoughts out from a holistic health perspective is this: you cannot separate anything, it all interconnects. If anything I’ve learned the way we approach our outer being is a direct result and proof of how we feel internally. With that being said, when people say they’re doing the work, this is what produces “success, outcomes and appearance.” Or, on the contrary, when people “look” a way externally but we see a discontentment it’s because they weren’t willing to marry the two. You won’t be content until you do the internal work.
Food Freedom + Restriction—I’ve found the time where I feel fully embodied and free is when I set less restrictions around my food, and oddly enough I eat the most nutrient dense when I let go of the restriction. I know it seems counterintuitive but it’s worth a try. Many people are shocked that I, too, struggle with many of the same hurdles they do when it comes to whole health. The key is truly endurance + letting go of perfectionism. As a 7, my fault lies within the “all or nothing” “full throttle or not moving at all.” I’ve learned how to couple my shortcomings with stamina instead of sprinting. If you’re doing 5% better than you were last week, that’s a win. Let go of the perfection. See, when you try to manipulate your food as a means or substitute of control for other things in your life, is where we see food “intolerances” + a whole host of other issues manifest, clashing in the axiom of mind and body interconnection. Stop using food to control what you don’t have control over elsewhere, and watch many weights you’re carrying, the body feels at ease to release.
Stored Energy—I have a lot of this. Most days I drag but my mind is always moving. When a day comes that I have true energy from a restorative nights sleep, the energy that I feel is what I strive for but many days I fall short and get frustrated. See, I have struggled with insomnia and anxiety for close to six years now. Something that has become quite clear is the less sleep I get, the more my anxiety takes over. But, what I get the most anxious over is the lack of energy I have to truly show up for myself in the ways I feel most fulfilled, which leads me to my next point…
Showing Up in Power AND Purpose—I believe everyone wants this. If a disconnect or feeling unaligned in life, what people are trying to identify is the feeling of showing up in both power and purpose. Purpose breeds alignment and the bi-product? Power. Power to show up in courage for yourself and those around you. Power to show up for your business. Power to show up to serve others. The bi-product of power should be the willingness to serve others exceptionally without forfeiting your own peace. When we store the power for ourselves, I think we go back into a cycle of stored energy and feeling discontent because service to others through power and purpose is where true power lies. When one lacks power, coupled with lack of purpose, they show up in dominating ways, a deficit toward something more fulfilling because they can’t direct their desire for power elsewhere. Don’t let this be you—be willing to do the work so you can direct your power in meaningful, fulfilling and healthy ways.
Someone’s business is an embodiment of their past experiences and story taking shape in an offering, make sure you’re not too critical or comparative. The idea that someone else has it all figured out? Unrealistic and damaging to both the service provider and expectations. Something I’ve learned: we have learned to be most critical when we’re not creating and putting in the work ourselves, an extension of insecurity reflected on to the other person. No one wins here. When someone is fumbling and doesn’t have their process seamless, respect that they’re trying instead of expecting perfection. Secondly, you can’t emulate someone’s business and why would you want to? Your business matters because you matter and your story matters. Be brave enough to step into your story even when it feels messy and you don’t have a clue to what you’re doing. It emboldens someone to do the same and that’s important work, if not the most important work. Which leads to me say, taking consistent action, even in fear + produces resiliency and courage for you to keep going, especially when the hard and uninspiring days come because they eventually will.
The Shock Factor—the moment you go holy moly, I’m actually doing this. The moment you realize others are taking notice, too, not of your work, but of your consistency and discipline in the showing up. The moment you look over your shoulder and go, I have no idea what I’m doing, but I chose to go after it. An anthem in our lives for the last two years is “just take the next best step,” you can hear more on this philosophy from my dear friend Sean Bean on my latest podcast episode “intentional entrepreneurship” HERE. Our human nature wants clarity before we’ve chosen to take the next step. The oxymoron in taking the next step, even when it’s dark, is the first step usually illuminates the next, and the next after that.
Praise Yourself—Yesterday, I told myself and a few close friends, I’m proud of myself. And I truly am. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that in my life with a few exceptions. What a shame more women aren’t told you can be proud of yourself and your work without being prideful or haughty. In fact, I think we can show up for ourselves more consistently when we can permission ourselves to frequently say “I’m proud of the work I’m doing and who I’m becoming.”
Yesterday I was talking to a close friend of mine about The Wholly Well Podcast. For many years I have generated thousands of ideas, the beauty and the curse of the enneagram 7. The moment I redirected this into action, and that’s when the magic took hold. You can have a thousand ideas, and that makes us feel good, but taking action and directing your focus intentionally is most rewarding. All it takes is the commitment to put the idea into tangible action and so, the journey begins. This was and is the full circle moment for me. The moment you wake up tangibly and internally to see and experience that everything is interconnected in your story. The moments when you felt lost, purposeless, the moment you never thought counted or mattered. The moment you just felt like you were fumbling. Those moments matter, if you’re willing to stay patient, you will see them interconnect. The Wholly Well podcast is essentially a 10 year old. I graduated with a journalism and public relations degree from Baylor University. Sure, I’ve worked in both PR and marketing. But this was the culmination of many experiences put into personal action because I had the desire to combine my passion for story and experience into an audible platform. Be patient and watch the puzzle take shape.
So, what’s the point of this post? Be willing to go on the journey. Be willing to take the next step. It’s exhausting, many days it feels futile, but when the good days come, you feel aligned and you have the ability to remind yourself that you’re showing up in and on purpose for yourself and for those around you; enCOURAGing and equipping those around you is bred from first having the courage to show up and having the audacity to consistently encourage yourself.
My encouragement to you: show up. Show up on the hard days, on the cold days, on the frivolous ones, on the confusing ones, on the great ones and the day after that. And when you do? Damn, it just feels like, for a brief second, you’re winning, not because of the profit, not because of your business, but because you chose to step. You see, when you think the point is arriving in the place, in the perfect, synchronistic way and you’ll just land there, that ain’t happening. We’ve been lied to, the journey is the reward; revel in it.